Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
