I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
