took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
