Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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