You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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