Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
