I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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