nut hugger
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
