You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
