I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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