ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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