Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
