i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
