yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have feelings that need drinking.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I came so hard my ears popped.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
