U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
