So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize