do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dicks are not precious.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
