We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize