You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
