I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
