He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
the liver wants what the liver wants
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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