Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
