What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
