i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
