Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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