i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
