Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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