yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
