he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
