So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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