i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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