So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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