Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
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How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
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I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's rum buckets o'clock
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
