You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
worst night to have a conscience
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
