she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
