We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
