I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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