Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
