I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
