I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
