Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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