zippers are such a cool invention
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
