Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
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She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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