I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
