my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
this will be a night to untag.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
