question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
