Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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