he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
