I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
