those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
