Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
