so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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