Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
