I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
