Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My Higher Power is John Stamos
they need to just BURY HIM!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
