She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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