thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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