plz talk dirty to me
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She bit a glass in half.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
