Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
