please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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