dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
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I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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