You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
